Parenting

Parenting

Parenting is an awe-inspiring, terrifying thing. Everyone wants to be a good parent, but we all mess up a lot, or worry that we do. Did I feed my kids enough milk today, or will they be permanently short because I didn’t? That yellow food coloring in the Mac’N Cheese does not look natural… am I accidentally giving my kids a carcinogen for dinner? And, did we talk about God enough today? The consequences of messing up are scary. Who wants their kid to grow up to be a serial killer?
Every Christmas, and at different times throughout the year, we hear about the most famous parents of all, Mary and Joseph. Sometimes I wonder what kinds of parents Jesus was born to. The more I’ve thought about it, the less impressed I’ve been by them in some ways. They seemed last-minute in their decision to go to Bethlehem for the census. Maybe Mary left Joseph in charge of the travel plans, and he kept putting it off; she kept nagging, and finally they left for Bethlehem hoping she wouldn’t go into labor on the side of the road somewhere. Traveling during pregnancy is tough, even in a car. Do you think Joseph may have made some unkind remarks when Mary made him stop the donkey for the fifteenth time in one day so she could go find a bush? Then they finally reached Bethlehem, and there was no where to stay. Do you think Mary said, “Don’t worry, honey, we’ll just have the Son of God here in this nice, clean stable. You move that pile of straw and droppings over so I can lay down and have the baby”? I don’t think so. Women in labor are not renowned for their tact. I imagine there were some harsh words and tears that night. I bet they weren’t wild about letting the mob of shepherds coming in, fresh from the fields. Years later, they had no idea where Jesus ran off to for three days when they were coming back from Jerusalem. Imagine their panic. “Joseph, we’ve lost the Son of God! How do we explain that to the Almighty? Sorry, God, we thought He was with us, but…” They searched and searched and eventually found Him in the temple, talking with a bunch of priests. Joseph and Mary were not amused. They went up to Him and did what all scared parents do, they yelled at their kid. And then the priests started telling them how wonderful and special their Son was. “He sure is,” they must have thought “Making us backtrack three days in a panic. Special is the right word for Him.” All in all, these seem like pretty unorganized people. Years later, even Jesus’ own siblings didn’t believe He was God’s Son until He rose from the dead. Shouldn’t Mary and Joseph have told the whole family? Didn’t the siblings have the right to know that the big brother they threw food at during dinner was the Son of God? Really, Mary and Joseph, for all of the lengthy Catholic ideas to the contrary, come off sounding depressingly normal. Imagine being Joseph and Mary and having some of your worst moment as parents talked about for two thousand years! What about all those good times, like when Mary told stories at bedtime? Or when Joseph taught Jesus how to saw in a straight line? They didn’t end up in the Bible.
God knew, when He handed them His Son, (the “Only begotten Son,” with Whom He was “Well pleased”) that they would lose track of Him in a large crowd for days at a stretch. He knew that they would be so disorganized and last-minute that He would be born in a barn. It was not a clean barn. There were probably flies buzzing around, and they would have to put Jesus in a manger to keep Him from getting stepped on. So why did He give them His Son?  Their great, shining quality was that they obeyed. God’s law said that they should bring the baby to the temple when He was eight days old, and they made the uncomfortable trip there, on the right day, because they were obedient. When the Bible says that Jesus never sinned, His parents’ commitment to obedience was part of this, because He fulfilled this law when they were in control, not Him. Later, when God told them to make a run for Egypt in the middle of the night, they got up and left immediately. They did the best they could, but they were real people with human characteristics that get forgotten sometimes. The most important question God asks about people is, “Will they obey?” Good planning skills, organization, even keeping track of God’s Son, were not as crucial to God as, “Will they obey?” In the end, God is always in control of the safety of His own. God doesn’t look for perfect people to raise children. He looks for obedient ones.